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  1. The lady at the liquor store says “Get out of here, I’m calling the cops.”
  2. You’re sitting on a curb behind the car wash, see the cops coming around the corner and think, “Fuckin’ liquor store bitch.”
  3. You’re in a squad car uncontrollably crying about being molested as a kid.
  4. The guy next to you at the bar says, “You already told me that story three times tonight” and you respond “Have we met?”
  5. You are being carried to an unidentified room by two hairy full grown men and you’re smiling because you think it’s actually an alien encounter.
  6. You…

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Whether you’re freaking out at a bus stop or just simply riding your bike coupled to a baby carrier filled with garbage bags, these fashion trends will be sure to make you feel like everybody is watching you.

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Malia Gillette

Drinking Johnny Bootlegger on a Champagne budget. Editor @ and

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