A Bipolar’s Guide to getting your Ex back

For a bi-polar, relationships and love feel like performing a daring magic trick. We walk into a enclosed structure in handcuffs while sand starts to trickle down and fill up the box. It’s exhilarating at first; we like the attention from the crowd, to be seen as a bad ass and the adoration for finally being noticed for the unique talents we possess. But soon that exhilaration turns into panic. Can I do this? Is the crowd going to get bored and leave? What if I’m not the best? Soon our eyes are covered by sand and we can’t see our hands in front of our own face. Soon after that we can’t breath. Using all of the crazy we have, we bust the walls and go running off the stage and into the crowd yelling, “I’m gonna fucking kill myself!”

Sorry folks, no refunds.

Breaking up is even more fun!

I’ve seen this guy Brad Browing who gives relationship advice on how to get your an ex back if a relationship has ended. He says things like “Don’t act effected by the relationship. When you talk always be on your way to an event and in a good mood.” That’s weird. I always thought the way to get a guy back was to go into his work in your pajamas like you haven’t changed in a week bawling and knocking things off the hostess stand while announcing loudly to the restaurant that you don’t think you can live without him. Evidently, that is not a good strategy according to some of these relationship experts I perused through. Brad also says to “Give it some time after the break up so he has time to miss you”. See, I thought the best way to make him miss you was to drive past his house slowly to see if he’s there and if on the third time he’s still not there kick in his back window and leave a note that accuses him of everything you imagine he’s been doing in the past two weeks since you saw him last. Again, I found this advice nowhere in all of the Youtube video’s I watched about winning back an ex. You know, we learn something new every day. One of the last pieces of advice Brad gives is “Leave it alone if he doesn’t respond to all of the other tactics and cues”. Hmmm. I always figured if all else fails you trap him in your house, sleep with his friends and ruin all of his musical equipment. I actually didn’t find anywhere that said NOT to do that. Anyway, after watching Brad Browning I discovered that if I personally want to take an expert advice on winning back an ex I’m going to have to act completely counter-intuitive. So, basically in order to win back any man I’ve got to completely convince him that I’m not me anymore.

That sounds evil. I like it.

Drinking Johnny Bootlegger on a Champagne budget. Editor @ www.DIYrrhea.com and www.realfakepersonals.com

Drinking Johnny Bootlegger on a Champagne budget. Editor @ www.DIYrrhea.com and www.realfakepersonals.com