I made this Caprese sald. It taste like shit, but you’d never know it.
Notice the robust Basil leaves cascading down the colorful juxtaposition of Mozarella and Big Beef Tomatoes, the slightly distressed fence and the way the light hits the shade…this is the perfect set up for a Facebook post that makes my everyday life look like Martha Stewart just stopped by for a chat.
This picture was taken by an LG phone, my kids were screaming in the background, I’d just tripped over a garbage bag filled with crap and the cheese slices were crusty on the edges. But it looks pretty good, don’t it?
Step One: Complimentary colors. Purple vs. Yellow, Orange vs. Blue or here Red vs. Green. Make colors pop in your photos by using any of these combos. Put oranges in a blue bowl. Eggplant with spaghetti squash. Marinara on Zucchini. There is a reason they are called complimentary…they’ll extract likes and comments like a mofo.
Step Two: Sprinkle something on top before the photo Op. Sprinkles look fun and are a sign that you have graduated from main ingredients to garnishes. Whether it’s pepper, dill, turmeric or red pepper flakes you need to do something before your dish looks like it showed up late for the party without a gift.
Step Three: A splash of sun. The best times to get light are sun up and sun down. You’ll want to place your dish so the light gives it a crisp edge. Even if you have to starve yourself and your kids waiting for the right light, it’s fine, you’ll be satiated with accolades from your online peers that silently hate you.
Step Four: Glass, Flowers and Candles. I’m no expert, I just happened to have a picture that has glass, flowers and candles and think it looks pretty good. This meal also tasted like complete shit, however we were able to throw it away right after the pictures.
Step Five: Have the intention of making people completely jealous. When you focus your energy into making people really jealous of your life, it’s the craziest energy that exists. You are bound to end up with good pictures because you literally cannot stop yourself until they are perfect. That seems like there is a desirable personality trait in there somewhere.