Tips From A Survival Expert: “Right now is a really great time to teach your children how to make bathtub booze”

Malia Gillette
4 min readMar 18, 2021
Photo by Johny vino on Unsplash

My name is Dana Lovering, I’m the owner of a website “” that I’ve been running from the pool area of my condo complex for the last year and a half. Today, I have the priveledge of doing an all-inclusive interview with Carrie Logan, a retired YMCA activities coordinator that I had the fortune of running into when I picked up a pallet of Bouillion at the Food4Less down the street. Please find the interview in my blog below!

Me: Thanks so much for doing this-

Carrie: Oh, well, I’ve read your blog and you’re a bit of a numbers cruncher. All I have to say is ‘The gym is closed for business!’ So if you’re doing numbers crunches, number squats, number bicep [sic] curls…it’s time to take a break, get out in the world and do some workouts like the real survivalist have been doing for years! That said, I’m happy to be here serving you…I mean men, women and children…not to mention the gender fluids. And the solids. The, you know, ‘them’. Or ‘they’. Those people.

Me: So I have a lot of questions for you. The main thing I wanted to get to is this: What would be some of the most important skills to hand down to our kids, and by that I mean actual survival skills as well as some tools for coping with stress or panic?

Carrie: Panic excites me, okay. I tell kids panic is an opportunity to act. Just like winter signals to us “Hey, it’s time to start storing nuts for the winter”, panic tells us “Start going on the Craigslist free section a little bit at a time and picking up used bathtubs.” So, now you’re scratching your head thinking used bath tubs? Yes, and I’ll tell you why. They’re essentially bulletproof. Once you get the used bathtubs you can stack them up and build a wall in your backyard, fill in the gaps with sandbags. Then you not only have a protective wall, but you have storage bins or a perfect place to put excess food or you know make bathtub gin.

Me: Okay, I feel like I need to rewind a bit. First off, do the bathtubs have to be used? Second off, I’m wondering where the actual gun fire is coming from? Also, do you think its a good time for parents to be jumping in and discussing making alcohol with their kids?

Malia Gillette

Drinking Johnny Bootlegger on a Champagne budget. Editor @ and